so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
