the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
