So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
