I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
