he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
