Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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