Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
