You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
