my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I've blown a few things in my day
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize