Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
