I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
