Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
