My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize