do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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