There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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