i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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