Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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