if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize