i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
