I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
