I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
