i just google imaged poop.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
