did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
