You made me cry and you don't even care
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
