if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I looked at my own cervix.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
