so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
