So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
