Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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