I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
