To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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