The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize