Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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