That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
