What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
