when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
