my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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