we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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