she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
