So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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