Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
