I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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