I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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