I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
