So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
