dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
