Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
