just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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