Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I smell like Dick and happiness
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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