Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
