My room smells like vodka and shame
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
