Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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