help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
