dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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