ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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