Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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