i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
