We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
