Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
