does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
