Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
