Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
