I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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