Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
