I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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