Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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